Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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