just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
