Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
