We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
