the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i think my cat just said my name.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
