you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wear drunk well.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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