At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My dick has a subreddit
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
