if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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