I hate your face
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
