perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
