Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
