So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The best revenge is premature balding
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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