Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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