Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
