Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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