I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
