When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
