I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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