I didn't shave. On purpose
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize