I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
