I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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