I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize