well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
