Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize