I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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