Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
