Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
