Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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