Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
