Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
