Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
third nipple confirmed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
