so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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