things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
