I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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