Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
