Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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