i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
