Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
