Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
