I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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