i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
