I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
