I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
