Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
