He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
