Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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