I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
