yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
