I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
