butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
