i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize