Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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