the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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