so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
