I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
