were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
