She announced her abortion via fbk
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
