On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
