Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
